4 Tips for Making Friends with Autism
Making friends with autism can be a challenge, but it’s also an essential part of building a healthy life. Our children long to have the same deep connections each of their peers seems to create with ease. They desire the relationship, the time spent playing games or chatting about their day, the support after difficult experiences — all of it.
Not only do our kids want friendship, they need it, too. Studies show that social connection has a significant positive impact on both physical and mental health. Meaningful friendships can strengthen the cardiovascular system, the immune system, our cognitive health, healthy sleep habits, and effective stress responses. They can lengthen lifespan and decrease loneliness, as well as the anxiety and depression diagnoses that often come along with it.
So, making friends with autism is important. But how can we help our kids to have success in this area? We’ll dive into four of the most effective methods in the article below:
Figure Out What a Friend Really Is
Your child desires close friendships, but do they truly know what being a friend entails? It may seem simple, but it’s not always a naturally-known skill. Get down to the basics as you open up this discussion. Ask questions like, “Do you like when classmates ask how you’re doing?” or “Do you appreciate when a friend tells you they like your outfit?” Show your child the good parts of friendship, so they can then recreate them with others they spend time with. “To be a good friend, we should treat others the way we like to be treated — ask the same questions, use the same compliments, share our smiles during hard times.”
Dive Into Social Stories
Social stories are an incredible tool for breaking down the details of friendship from home. Read through the pages together and stop to ask and answer questions when important information pops up. From starting small talk to handling conflict, these stories can provide your child with a bit of practice and the boost in confidence they need to try their friendship-building skills in real life.
Along with sample scenarios, social stories can break down barriers brought about by the hidden curriculum, a huge set of social skills that are essential to making friends with autism, but simply aren’t often shared out loud.
Here’s an incredible list of social stories on various friendship topics and social skills to get you started. You can print them for free to build an at-home collection for your child.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Even though talking about friendship building can be helpful, it’s the real life experience that really boosts confidence. If your child has a sibling at home or a cousin nearby, consider setting up a few “practice” scenarios. Make sure the friend you choose is patient, understanding, and willing to help your child build friendship making skills. Then, let the practice get started.
Encourage your child to start with small talk (a social skill many friendships begin with) or have them find a common interest. For example, if your child loves trains, have a cousin sit down and play with a wooden track set. Help your child to see this fun activity and encourage them to ask their cousin if they could join in on the fun.
After having some practice, your child may feel more comfortable starting small talk with a new peer at school or joining in on a game they find interesting. After all, many friendships begin to build when a common interest is spotted.
Try an Online Peer Group
One of the easiest methods for making friends with autism is to join an online peer group that’s designed for this specific purpose.
At Ascent Autism, our social groups are designed to fit every aspect of friendship building while addressing common challenges that come along with the process. We hand-match 5-7 children, ensuring that each group member will feel welcome, comfortable, and interested in each session’s content. Our highly-trained moderators encourage friendships and meaningful connection while supporting each student along the way.
Our groups are matched in five essential areas:
Strengths
Challenges
Interests
Age
Availability
These aspects ensure each child will enjoy our sessions, and they’ll make friends and grow in their social abilities at the same time.
No matter how you choose to support your child in making friends with autism, your methods will provide a positive impact. If you’re interested in testing out an online peer group, reach out to us at Ascent Autism today. We’d be more than happy to support your child through every step of their friendship-building journey.
Apr 28, 2021Hye Ryeon Lee, PhD Hye Ryeon is a neuroscientist with over 10 years of experience studying Autism Spectrum Disorder, including at the Stanford University School of Medicine. She has published numerous papers on the mechanisms of autism in journals such as Nature, Science, and Nature Neuroscience.https://www.linkedin.com/in/hyeryeonlee/